I wrote the below post in 2013. What I have discovered is what I wished for has come true and my life continues to unfold. I continue to be a work in progress but have never been more at peace with myself and my life.
In some instances I have a tremendous amount of patience. In other areas, not so much. What I am discovering as I am getting older is patience is really about letting life unfold, not about making life happen. Up until turning 50 I was about trying to make events happen the way I thought they should be. Hence, when we should move, when I should retire, assuming I had the answers and only my answers were correct. Also, assuming I have all the time in the world.
With new experiences and relationships I am truly discovering that patience really means enjoying the good things that happen to me when they happen and dealing with the unpleasant events as they unfold. Sounds really good doesn’t it. Well, some days and weeks I am good at this and some I am not so good.
I really am, as all of you are, a work in progress. I embrace where I am right now. But, I still have goals and dreams yet unfulfilled. I want to move. I want to retire and get up in the morning knowing I am loving what I am doing. I am still trying to figure out how to make these events happen. What I know and what I feel some days are two different things. I know that my life will take the turns meant for me and that the right opportunities will present themselves and if I pay attention I will know what the right move is and when it should take place. However, my heart is extremely impatient, like a small child, I want everything now…
I know if you are reading this you can identify. I only know when I am in those moments of surrender and just enjoying what is I am happier and more contented.
Today was a prime example. The Daytona 500, my love George, his son, Little Man, his brother and his son a George’s good friend. We watched the race, we laughed. I enjoyed watching them eat the meal I prepared with great care and love. It was an awesome day. I love the men in my life both big and small. I have an awesome daughter that thinks the world of me as a mom and I am truly proud of her as my daughter. God has truly blessed me…. I only need to let him help me live the next chapter of my life.